6 Inventions to Smuggle Booze Into Festivals

Have you ever bought a drink at a music festival? Yeah, neither have we. If you’re like us, you probably believe that your three hundred ticket should come with a free keg. Instead, you’re forced to pay stadium prices for a beer. Good thing you have us to help you. Our friends at Liquor Snob have given us a list of their favorite James Bond inventions.

1. Reef Dram Sandals


You’re going to be wearing sandals anyway, so why not wear liquor filled sandals. That’s right, the Reef Dram sandals hold 3 ounces each, which means you get six normal person drinks…or one large one.

2. The Winerack

Boobs rule. Boobs filled with liquor? That’s just awesome and the premise behind the Winerack, which transforms an average girl’s cleavage into a walking liquor cabinet.

3. The Beerbelly


Ovbiously, The Winerack won’t work for the fellas, which is where The Beer Belly takes over. This genius invention slips on under your shirt and lets you see what your future self will look like in about ten years if keep drinking at this rate. Our tip: The BeerBelly will only hold two foamy cans of beer. But vodka? Well, now we’re cooking.

4. The Liquor Seat


It’s just a regualar old stadium seat that’s filled with your favorite libation. Simple, clean, and effective. It’s not as flashy as the other inventions, but it’s certainly the most practical.

5. Violin Bottle Carrier


Speaking of practical, This one probably won’t work, but everyone loves instrument cases that don’t actually hold instruments. Remember in Desperado when Antonio Banderas had a guitar case filled with guns and Salma Hyaek got naked? That was so cool.

6. Beer Keg Costume


The guards will be so distracted by your awesome costume that they’ll never even notice that your head is full of alcohol. The wild tap hat holds a whopping 13 ounces of booze. Plus, everyone is going to be buying you drinks because you’re so crazy!

Born during a sweaty, backstage, Bonnaroo downpour, the Chief Festival Junkie's mission in life is to dance, write, and travel to every great festival that this wide world has to offer. While his identity remains a mystery, you may have already met him, probably when he helped himself to your party favors.

5 Comments

  • July 21, 2010

    Kelly

    Awesome!

    • July 26, 2010

      admin

      We think you’re awesome too Kelly :) Thanks for reading.

  • November 29, 2011

    britzbitz

    Awesome.

    But as a festival organizer, I can’t say I think your ticket price should include a free keg. ;) It’s f’ing expensive to put these gigs on, man! Hahaha.

    Props for innovation. Entertaining read (I’ve already been thinking about getting a Winerack for Burning Man).

  • December 10, 2011

    Glurgh Glughman

    These are all so much better than my rat hole technique.

  • December 10, 2011

    Tina

    Guess what a certain MF Junkie will be finding under the tree? Not kidding.

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