Music Festival Footwear: What Your Feet Say About You

I’ve been checking out lots of footwear lately and not just because of my raging foot fetish. Folks tend to wear their hearts on their feet at music festivals and I tend to make sweeping generalizations about personalities based solely (see what I did there?) on a single criteria.

Flip-Flops

I’m cool, confident, and laid back.

Flip flops always look better with socks. Always.

Pros: Lightweight. Easy to slip on and off. Well ventilated.
Cons: The music festival condition known as “homeless feet”. Smashed toes.

Barefoot

I’m a free spirit OR I’m so high I lost my shoes.

Straight up feet.

Pros: The most light weight shoe on the market. Feels great on grass. Costs nothing.
Cons: Magnet for sharp objects. Foot diseases. Drunks will yell taunts like “Get some shoes hippie”. Smashed toes (see flip-flops). Homeless feet.

Toms

I’m a hipster with a firm belief in slacktivism. Also, I forgot my Chucks at home.

See the year 2009. Photo Credit: Paste Magazine

Pros: Very comfortable and lightweight. Purchasing a pair gives a child in developing countries a pair.
Cons: Smugness.

Rain Boots

I like dancing in the rain and won’t let mud stop me. Plus, I look adorable in them.

I can't wait for Glastonbury 2013!

Pros: Feet stay dry. Easily washable. Great protection. Adorable. Extremely adorable on tiny animals.
Cons: Traction issues. Feet smell like a wet dog after removal. Unadorable on men.

Heels

Even if I have to walk six miles through a muddy field this weekend, I’m going to look damn good doing it OR My parents don’t know that I snuck into a rave.

Note the brace being worn by the girl on the left...

Pros: Fashionable. Provides needed height to see stage.
Cons: Knee and ankle problems by the age of seventeen.

Boots

I’m going to The Gathering of the Juggalos.

Protect your feet, yo!

Pros: Best protection for feet ,especially in mosh pits.
Cons: Too heavy for dancing.

Running Sneakers

I’m normal.

Yawn.

Pros: Practical.
Cons: Boring.

Born during a sweaty, backstage, Bonnaroo downpour, the Chief Festival Junkie's mission in life is to dance, write, and travel to every great festival that this wide world has to offer. While his identity remains a mystery, you may have already met him, probably when he helped himself to your party favors.

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